I saw her at work. Tall, exotic, big, beautiful eyes ... she was breathtaking. Everyone thought so.
Constantly surrounded by those trying to win her favor, she seemed bored with them. Perhaps I was just too shy. I never said a word.

However, I must have been staring. She walked by my desk, did a double take, walked right up to me and said, "You look just like my brother."

Not exactly what I was expecting to hear.

We talked, she smiled, I was smitten.

We became friends. The best of friends. We would talk for hours. I loved to hear and see her laugh -- it was more in the corners of her eyes than her mouth.

She was engaged. He didn't like me and I didn't like him. He tried to forbid her from spending time with me.

The night before she was to leave for her wedding, she told me she was in love with me. I told her she was just nervous about getting married.

I was stupid.

What I didn't tell her was that I loved her also.

Desperately.

We didn't talk much for the next few years. It just would have been too complicated. Then one day, she fixed me up with her sister. I've come to think that it was her way of having me close to her. I wasn't complaining.

I lasted for six months with the sister. It was ok. She was nice. We had fun. It just wasn't her. It did let me spend much more time with her though. We were best friends again. I still loved her and she me.

Then one night we went out for a drink.

I knew how to turn her on. It was a game we played. All it would take was for me to look at her, look down at the table, and then slowly raise my eyes to again look into hers. I knew what it did to her and she let me do it, but we'd never done anything about the feelings it caused.

That night however, I don't know why, but I asked her to kiss me. And she did.

We were together from that night on for many years. Then we weren't.

I miss her.

Desperately.

I have been feeling lazy lately. I lie awake at night and can't sleep, but think of great story lines, great blog posts, but just don't seem to have the desire to post anything.
But, I did get my ears coned! And I did his too :)

The evening went some thing like this. It was a child free night. Quiet, calm, we were well fed having been to the Ground Round and had Teriyaki Steak Sticks for me (YUM YUM) and a center cut sirloin for him. Nice relaxing dinner with no one spilling anything, running around the table or generally being, well, kids!
We came home, closed the blinds and got into comfy clothes. Dimmed most of the lights and put Enya's Shepherd Moons on continuous repeat. I got a bowl half full of water, matches, a pair of good sharp scissors, and a couple of small plates together and arranged on the coffee table. A few pillows and a blanket on the couch and a small footstool and we were ready.

Coning is a simple process. The cones are long cylindrical cones made of (generally) cotton soaked in beeswax, some with added herbs or essential oils. (Other brands use other materials, paraffin etc) I prefer cones made by Coning Works out of Sedona Arizona. I like the Rose Cones, he prefers the Native Blend.
The label on the Rose cones says: Rose is the traditional symbol of love. It opens the heart chakra with an uplifting and stimulation effect. It relieves depression, nervous tension, sadness and emotional shock.
The label on the Native Blend says: Herbal combination. (Mullein Flower, Chamomile, St John's Wort) Especially soothing for the ear canal. Anti-inflammatory. Traditional remedy. Excellent choice for the first seven conings.

 Ear coning dates back to ancient times. The spiral of the cone and the herbal smoke in the ear canal work together to draw out physical and emotional debris. This is very relaxing and non invasive. The cone is burnt down to about 6" and does not feel hot to the ear.

So, he relaxed on the couch on one side. I lit the first cone. By tapping the ball of my finger against the opposite end of the cone, the smoke started coming out. When I had a good stream of smoke going, I inserted the cone gently into his ear creating a seal between the cone and the ear canal. While holding the cone with one hand, I used the other hand to gently massage his face, head and neck. I used a variety of techniques that I know works on him. After about 4 inches of the cone had burned down, (the ashes stay together in the shape of the cone) I withdrew the cone and holding over the bowl of water, snipped off the burning end quickly. Then using the wooden skewer that came with the cones, reamed out the debris that had already collected inside the cone onto the plate. Related fractology
Twice more I did this with the same cone. The cones we use are close to 18 inches, so it makes for a good draw of debris. The entire time, he was using whatever means he wanted to relax inside his mind and to work on releasing negative energy, emotions etc.
We had already decided to use two cones per ear per person, so I repeated the process with another cone in the same ear since it was already warmed from the first round of smoke. Then we took a short break and did the other side.

Another short break and he did my ears. Only I was surprise treated to an all over, soft, sweet, quick, full body rub before he started on my ears! It made relaxing so much easier! I like to imagine that the white smoke that enters my ears becomes a soft white liquid and fills my body, starting at the soles of my feet and pushing everything bad and icky back out of my ears and into the cones. it takes about half an hour per cone for the ones we use. So it was an all night event.

I don't want to disgust anyone with the details of what came out of our ears! But we used both of the small plates and there was a ton of debris that came out. Looking at it, it is hard to imagine that our bodies, our ears and sinus cavities can contain that much gunk! Not to mention the emotional release we both felt afterwards. It would take months for our bodies to eliminate that much wax and debris on it's own. It is possible that some of it would never work itself to the ear and leave, just become impacted and stay inside our bodies forever. It's a depressing thought.

We are going to re-do the process sometime this weekend. It has been months since we treated ourselves to this and it should be done in a series of three to seven conings about three to eight days apart. Now that our ears are cleared, we need to repeat the process several times at least to remove the even older more gunkier debris that now has room to move upwards and outwards.
My ears will most likely only need one cone per ear these next few times. His will need at least two next time and maybe one the times after that. He has a terrible problem with buildup and it has caused a partial deafness in that ear over the years. He has a problem with pain in that ear and pressure that keeps him awake at night and causes him to take a couple of Advil's before going to bed. The Doctor used to irrigate his ear with water to remove some of the buildup. He found it to be painful and difficult. As soon as we did the first ear cone, he reported immediate relief from pain in that ear. And he has been able to sleep without taking pain killers! (as well he should based on the amount of gunk that came out of that ear!)

We find it to be more pleasant and less painful that irrigation. I just can't see having someone shoot a hard stream of water in my ear in a sterile Dr.'s office when I can relax on my own couch with candles, soft music and pillows and have my ears coned, never feeling a thing, with the same end result.

Coning is a very safe, gentle process that can even be used on children. (Although children can use about half of a cone at a time depending on their age and the style of the cone) It is especially beneficial during allergy season, bad head colds or anything that blocks the sinus passages. It's great for special couple time, it forces you to slow down and be patient. All you can do is relax and go with it. Some people will watch TV or read, or sleep even (he sleeps! LOL!) I find it to be a very Spiritual time for me. I can meditate, allow peace and serenity to enter my body, ask for the removal of negative thoughts and emotions and come out of it feeling cleansed inside and out.
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